Fruit Cakes and Idiots Abound!

Well folks tonight marks the tenth night of the big fire we got running behind the house here in Pender Co.  Started out on the 19th as a 300 acre fire and 3 days later it had jumped to a 21,000 acre fire.  Now you know it look like the whole world was on fire!  Yep sure did.  My woods glowed.  And by the looks of a picture I found days later....well. let's just say if I had known they were glowing that bad my butt would have been in a hotel in Wilmington!  Like I've said before the foliage around here hides alot, sometimes too much!

Well, they test burned, whatever that is suppose to mean, the area yesterday and decided to go for in in 20 mph winds with gust over 25 today.  I know I know sounds like suicide to me too but hey who the hell am I right?  After all I only live 2 miles from the damn blazing inferno why should I care?  What was suppose to 1500 acres turned into a (at last report) 8000 back fire.  Hmmmmm  Ok.....just someone make sure they let me know when we are suppose to bug out OK????  Thank you!  And they wonder why we don't trust them half the time.....

With these fires come visitors to our home.  Such as an abundance of birds.  All kinds of birds, including birds of prey.  Poor Baxter!  He walks right up under me whenever we go outside.  He doesn't care much for the hawks that have been hanging out around the house.  My house is such a great place for hawks to hang what with the abundance of kittens......and speaking of kittens I'm down from 25 to 13 now....missing 2 moms too.  I wonder why?  Well that's Mother Nature for ya!  When I went out to the mail box yesterday I noticed huge hoof prints and lots of them.  That tells me the deer are on the run too.  They were pretty stirred up back in March from that fire up on the base.  Now this fire has them stirred up again.  Running out of places to hide.  So y'all watch out for them when you travel up and down Hwys 50, 17 and 210.  Haven't seen anything else but I have heard a few fox barking at night.  Maybe they carried off some of the kittens. 

We are so excited about going to Pa and visiting with our daughter Tara and her girlfriend Andie!  I always enjoy the trip up and seeing the Hubs family.  Going to make a pit stop in Richmond to see a sweet little boy named Adarian.  He's only a few weeks old and I just might keep him if I can figure a way to wrangle him away from his mom and dad! lol

Of course with my southern drawl it always attracts interesting responses.  Most people just want me to "speak again".  lol  But occasionally I will trip over a rude remark.  Seems idiots abound no matter where you roam!  Oh well....

Speaking of idiots has anyone been following Michele Bachman?  lol  Just when we thought no one could top Sarah in the "Let me show you how smart I really am" category out pops this fruit cake...... BTW  Do you know what happens to a tea bag when it boils too long?  Why it burst and it is quite a mess to clean up.  Just think when the Tea Baggers are done what a mess they will leave for you and I to clean up! 

Well that's something for y'all to think about and that's the way I see it!  So until we meet again, y'all be good to each other!  Good Nite Betty!

Help Wanted: One Ninja with a Unicorn

It has been a while since I last wrote you my dears but I have been rather busy what with getting the pool ready for summer and well just the barrage of endless duties summer seems to bring.  The Hubs and I finally got the pool up for the summer and it was as easy as a breeze.  Yep we did it right this year.  Took us 4 days to fill it up but we did it right!  Ran the water for 4 hours each day just so we could catch the best of the water softener.  No iron water for me this year!  No sir!  I was not flocking the pool!  That stuff is expensive too! Whew!  Do not want to go there again.  So once we got it filled with clean, clear water I just filled a jar and took it to Wanda the Pool Goddess.  Yep just handed the jar to her and grunted.  She grunted and beat on her chest a few times.  Threw some stuff in a bag, ask for my money and pointed to the door.  I came home and poured it all in the pool and BINGO instant pool!  Life is soooo good!

So we enjoyed the heck out of the pool for a day or two and along came a fire.  Spent one afternoon constantly scooping out embers and ash.  Well that's it!  On went the cover and now we wait.  They tell us it might be later in the summer before it is completely out.  Now that doesn't mean we don't get in the pool, cause I been getting in it just got to cover it back up at night when the smoke moves back over us.

All this smoke and stress has got my migraines acting up so much to my dismay I spent Sunday laid out on the couch waiting for death to take me or that ninja I hired to bust through the front door and chop my head off.  Obviously neither happened.   Damn ninja!  Can't get good help anymore.....  Well that's what I get for not replacing my last ninja.  I guess I'll be conducting interviews later this week!

So after my little headache eased up a little I decided I would venture out and make a run for the Pharmacy.  You know pick up a few things before it closed.  Boy the traffic was unreal!  And in case no one in Hampstead has noticed, it is 45MPH not 100!  I am so sick and tired of being run over, flipped off and honked at for doing the speed limit!  Arrggg!!!  Come on people!!!!!  Ok so imagine my surprise as I putter back home with a raging headache, fit to be tied too, just me and Baxter in the Mater car heading north back to the house, minding our own business.  You got that image?  Good....now imagine this.   I glance in my rear view mirror and there appears an elderly man driving a Lincoln Town Car.  Black in color, probably a 1999 to 2002 model.  He's on my ASS folks.  Blinking his lights the whole 9 yards!  I'm thinking it's 45 MPH and I'm doing 49 in other words pushing the envelope!  Finally he sees a break and passes me blowing my doors off!  I notice he is approx 80 YEARS OLD!!!!  I catch up to him at the next light and motion for him to roll down his window.  "Sir," I say. "You are aware it is a 45mph area we are in, right?"  Guess what?  He FLIPS ME OFF and guns his engine! He fish tails down the road all hunched over the stearing wheel!  The last I see of him he is still hauling ass with his left hand signal light blinking as he topped the hill.......and all yours truly can do is pick her jaw up off the floor....

I should have never left the house.  I am fit to be tied, ready to kill Kill KILL.  I cannot believe a little old shrivelled man just poked his middle finger up at me when I informed him he was in the wrong!  Hell they probably have a silver alert out for him anyway....But at that very moment all I could see was that blinking light and what I wanted to do to him.  I should have stayed at home....

It's days like yesterday that I really need to step back and say to myself,  "Why did you fire your ninja in the first place????"  So I guess I will bite the bullet and call this 1-888-Hire-A-Ninja  In the mean time if you get a chance go to my face book and look under notes for my latest story! 

Y'all be kind to each other and Good nite Betty!