Well my dears, tomorrow will be a big day for my baby sister. Tomorrow her life will change once again. I wish I could take this bullet for her, walk this walk. But alas it is not for me .....this time. All I can do is stand by and helplessly watch and witness. It seems the job the Lord has given me, this job of standing witness always to others lives is sometimes too difficult for me to watch. I want to turn and bury my head in someone else arms. Bu t there is no one there for me to turn. I will try my best not to cry. She always hates to see me cry. That is another curse our Lord has given me. The curse that I carry all the emotions of this family.
I have tried to stay busy today as well as she has. We each running around chasing our children and their own needs, forgetting about what was to happen tomorrow. I know at this late hour she is very much wide awake. It will be hours before we both sleep. Such odd memories float through our minds as we toss and turn, each trying to conjure up our mother's face. Yes she is very much in our minds these last few weeks. I know when I kiss her goodbye as she goes through those doors tomorrow that I will be handing her to some great doctors. I will also be handing her to our mother. You can't see her but you sure can feel her all around us. Every where I look I see pennies on the ground, on the beach, in parking lots and they say pennies are a sign of angels.
Tomorrow will be another story. Tomorrow I must sit still for a long time. It will be hard but for my sister I will wait. Wait and see what news the doctors will bring. I am told it will be an all day affair. I have tried to remember how long it took our mother but I just don't remember.... Tomorrow it will take all day and if it doesn't it will feel as though it did.
Tonight I will pray to our Lord to watch over my baby sister. To watch over her doctors as they make her life's decisions. I know tomorrow there will be an extra nurse with them. Tonight she is with my sister.
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