The past month has been an emotional one for me to say the least. I have watched a dear friend struggle with the loss of the love of her life. Cancer was the demon we all expected to take him however it was something as simple as a heart attack that did it. Michael always liked things quick and to the point. So this was just like him. She waited for 35 years for an answer she never received. She waited patiently for him to decide. In the end he just quietly shut the door and left her with unanswered questions. I pray she finds the answers and finds her way back to us all. I miss my friend.
I had a dream the same dream several times prior to his passing. Finally, I decided to act on this dream. Thinking it was for another I decided to investigate. While visiting with my relatives I discovered it wasn't for my inner circle of family and friends. That dream was about him and for her. In my dream I am standing outside looking at a man with dark hair he is standing beside a small car. The car is dark in color. I cannot see his face clear enough to say who he is, yet I know this person. He keeps pointing to the woman inside the car and he tells me " She needs you". Three times I have this dream and each time it gets more urgent and the picture becomes clearer. Each time I pick up more details. Since my visit I have not dreamed this dream. So when she called me to tell me Michael had passed I was not surprised. I already knew, he had told me. She needed me and I went to her. Our visit was short but positive. She knows she is loved by me and my family.
A few short weeks ago another friend of mine suffered a devastating blow to herself and her family. Her husband, the love of her life, her happiness killed himself. He suffered from PTSD. No matter how many times he cried out for help there was no one there willing to help him. All he had was his beautiful wife and she was so overwhelmed. They tried every avenue open to them but were told to "take 2 Motrin and call me in the morning". Now one of America's finest heroes is gone. I pray every night that she can find the strength to go on for the sake of her children. I pray every day that she will find the peace he so desperately seeked and the answers she must gather for the sake of her children. In the end it is for the children we seek answers.
After his services in DE, I picked her up from the airport and we began the long ride to her home. We spoke about many things on that ride. Things I had long since stopped talking about but never forgot. I will always remember you Greg.
One of the things we talked about was Lady Bugs. My husband and I set free three Lady Bugs on our trip to the deep south. One in Alabama, one in Mississippi and the last in Bethlehelm, Ga. When we got home I found the crushed carnation she had played with under my car seat. I believe God was with us on that trip home from the airport. I believe there were others too.
My mother's first great grandson has been ill of late. I pray so hard that he will become strong and bounce back from all of this. I visited with him today and for the first time he wasn't crying and he seemed very content. I pray this is a good sign. Dear God, we as a family need a good sign today and tomorrow.
My baby sister has her own hurdle to jump and I as the eldest cannot take care of her. I cannot do this for her. I pray so hard. She is the only true sister I have and my life without her would be unbearable to say the least. So I pray tonight for her that all of the tests come back negative.
My mother always told me you don't need to go to church to talk with God. That if you want to speak to Him, just reach out and touch another living thing and start talking. God is in everything we see. He is in the wind that blows thru your hair, He is in the sweet sound of a baby sleeping and He is in the warm embrace we give to one another.
So I pray for them all. Until tomorrow my dears, I will pray for you.
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